There are some conversations that are held explicitly for a specific purpose – such as the alignment and navigation conversations that we have recently looked at. Today we are going to look at one of a group of conversations that are always in the background and require a specific effort to bring them into the foreground – the conversation of trust.

Trust

Modern day living depends on a high level and often unquestioned trust. When we drive, we trust that other motorists will follow the accepted rules of the road and drive more defensively when this isn’t the case. Easting out at a restaurant, we assume that the kitchen is following good food hygiene and that there are routine inspections on our behalf to help us trust that this is the case.

Working together as a team, we need to build trust with our teammates. Doing so enables us to work more efficiently without the need for extensive checks and balances. Bringing our full creativity to the work of the team, requires the trust that when we make our ideas vulnerable to the views and opinions of others, that this will be respected.

Trust isn’t the same as liking someone, but it is based on respect for and a reliance on the intentions and actions of others. It is built slowly based on our experience – Brene Brown uses the analogy of a marble jar. Each time we have an encounter that builds trust another marble goes in the jar. However, trust can be quickly lost and sometime irrevocably, perhaps with a careless action. When the jar is broken the marbles disappear. It is a key skill for teams and their members to be able to build trust within the team, as well as recognize when it is missing and be able to restore it when it has been lost.

When we trust someone, we are making something of value to us, vulnerable to the actions of others. We are trusting their intention to deliver what we need and their ability to see it through. We decide how far to trust another person, it isn’t an all or nothing thing. Trust is situational – you may trust me to complete the report for you but not to do a safety check on your car! Just because we trust a person in one setting, doesn’t mean that we can trust them in another.

Trust is a decision to coordinate action with another person in a specific area based on available evidence and a willingness to risk betrayal of that trust. Each team member shares the assessment about their teammates that they care, are sincere, competent and reliable.

We look for the evidence to trust in two main areas – intention and action. If I trust your intentions, I believe that you care about what you are about to do and are sincere – you don’t say one thing and do another. In action, I am trusting that you are competent (have the necessary skills and experience) to do what has been agreed, and reliable, meaning that you have a history of delivering on time.

Shortfalls in the areas of intention get to who a person is, whereas a shortfall in the action is more of an operational issue and doesn’t carry the same freight.

Signs That Trust Might Be Missing On A Team

In the absence of trust people become more guarded and cautious. If that turns into distrust, then fear may be evident. The topic of distrust takes us deeper and will be the subject of a future blog.

Here are some of the signs that trust may be an issue for your team:

• Missed deadlines and not addressing a lack of delivery.
• Lots of team procedures, checks and balances.
• Defensive behavior and a failure to take responsibility.
• Leaving concerns and issues to fester – rather than being addressed.
• Taking other team members for granted.
• Team members don’t apologize when they make mistakes or miss deadlines.
• Holding grudges and not recognizing that everyone makes mistakes.
• Complaining about other team members outside the team.
• Washing the team’s dirty linen in public.

What might you do?

If you notice any of these signs on your team, it is time to open up the trust conversation. The problem is that the lack of trust itself inhibits doing this. The safer option is to address operational issues that may be impacting trust, rather than question people’s intentions or even character.

The key is to focus on the facts of the situation (the late delivery of the report) rather than question people’s intentions. Here are some ways that you can build trust with your team:

• Thank others for doing what they say they will.
• Deliver on your promises or renegotiate if problems are encountered.
• Apologize when you fail to keep a commitment and take steps to put things right.
• Make legitimate complaints when promises have been broken.
• Provide opportunities for others to complain to you.
• Extend trust to others (someone has to make the first move!) and assume good intent.

Having clear performance standards for the team (addressed in a later blog) will make it easier to deal with problems that contribute to a lack of trust.

This conversation is always in the background until it isn’t!

The problem with trust is that it isn’t a ‘once and done’ thing. It always requires attention otherwise trust once built will erode over time. People and situations are always changing and so it is essential to continue to build or maintain trust with people over time.

The good news is that if we are honest and straightforward with people, manage our commitments well, and provide opportunities to explore problems, then trust naturally develops. You can’t make people trust you!

Learn more

Richard works with leaders and teams seeking a performance edge. He can be reached at: richard@pathwaysofgrowth.com.

To get started on improving your team’s conversations, view Pathways of Growth’s current offerings.